First Day of School

Last Monday was Ella's first day of school and perhaps I haven't quite recovered from it in order to post. Nah, I'm just teasing, but I think it was such a momentous occasion that I would earn Bad Mother of the Year title if I didn't post about it here.

The obligatory FDoS pictures on the front porch. Watch as the frustration sets in...

Yay! Standard shot on the front porch! Don't ask me what's on our door. I have no idea.

Now with the book bag over your shoulder, honey!

Um, yes, the blue beads went to kindergarten.


An over the shoulder look, trying to capture the essence of the book bag.

Fine. I'm done.

There it is! The book bag is from Mercy Regional Health Center, a gift from the hospital when she was born. WHO IS A CHEAPSKATE? That'd be us. I wonder if her teachers feel sorry for her, having to carry a hospital book bag instead of a princess one like all of the other girls. Yeah, that's what I thought.

She had (and has had) a really good experience at school. On the first day I was walking her to her classroom and may have gotten a bit caught up in all of the buzz and what seemed like trillions of little children milling about everywhere. I was instantly taken back a few decades to walking the halls of my elementary school, mentally checking off where the lunchroom was, which hall my classroom was on, and the way out to the buses. I looked at her with my eyes all ablaze and said 'Look, Ella, at all of these kids! There are so many new friends here!' To which she replied, in a very exasperated tone, 'Mama, I'm not as excited as you are!' And so it begins.

Once I sat through one hundred and eleven hours of car rider waiting, I pumped Ella for all the information she could give me after the first day. Bologna sandwiches for lunch, some kids were naughty, she was nice, and she didn't take a nap. A boy near her during nap time tried to tell her to go to sleep, but she didn't pay attention to him because 'He's not the boss of me.' Exactly, little girl, exactly. (As your daddy will explain to you in great detail in a few years, boys are dumb and you never, ever, EVER do what they tell you to. Ever.)

Now that a week has passed, we have moved on to the homework stage of kindergarten. Who knew?! One assignment was to review the letters of the alphabet and match little cards with the letters on them to their place on a chart. Easy, peasey, mac and cheesey if you're Ella Grace. Therefore, the obvious thing to do when Ella can already do the homework assignment is for her to act as the teacher and make Mama do the assignment. Obviously! I have tried and tried to tell her that I do, in fact, know my letters, but that doesn't matter. I think the drive to be the boss and play teacher is too overwhelming, and there I sit, matching letters to charts and calling out their names during an exciting round of flash cards. When will Ashley Kate be old enough to sit through this in my place? Or where in the world is her father?

Speaking of Ella Grace's father, he's not too keen on the latest chant that she has brought home from kindergarten. 'Missed me! Missed me! Now you've got to kiss me!' Oooooh noooo ho ho, little one, don't go repeating that at our house! David is not a fan of Ella telling people they have to kiss her. Even if it is an irrational and unfounded fear. That doesn't matter. There might be boys who take her seriously and then where would we be?! In trouble, that's where. Which is exactly where I found myself after making an innocent comment about the potential cuteness of a new friend who is a boy. I remarked that new friend Lance was at open house when we were and oh, by the way, as I recall he was kind of cute. Swiftly, from the back seat, I was told 'We don't say things like that at school.' Case closed. David was rather pleased to hear about this conversation, to say the least.

Overall, school seems to be fitting well with Ella. I figured that it would, since she is definitely 'a rules girl' (to quote Andria about her daughter Dellaina). She thrives on being good and doing all of her homework on the night that it is assigned. She is empathetic to the children in her class that aren't as prepared for kindergarten as she is, and has commented about how she will help them learn. 'It's not their fault that they don't know... they just haven't been taught yet.' Awww... so sweet!

I Knew This Going In

Quote of the day from David:

"I don't have opinions, I have FACTS."



If there ever were truer words (at least in his own mind), I've never seen them.

Over The Jeff Hill

Happy 40th Birthday to my brother-in-law Jeff! Jeff's last name just so happens to be Hill, so that lends itself quite nicely to be made fun of, especially on your 40th birthday, Mr. Jeff I'm over the Hill!

Because Jeff is a cattle guy, I'm tossing this up here (even though his specialty isn't dairy cattle, but who's counting?).

Aaaand because I happen to know that Jeff has been known to have a beverage or two, I'm tossing this up here (even though he's WAY, way past 30 - it's still fun).



Happy Birthday, Jeff!

On Monday...

The implications of this piece of paper are something that I may find myself unable to handle come Monday morning. And Tuesday. And maybe even Wednesday. It's going to be touch and go, people, touch and go.




MY BABY! MY SWEET, LITTLE, TEENY TINY BABY! GOING TO SCHOOL!

She'll be meeting new friends, learning new routines, adjusting to new teachers, going through the lunch line all by herself, carrying a book bag, and bringing home homework!

This can't be happening.

It just can't.

I have a feeling that I will be clinging tight to Ashley as we walk into kindergarten, afraid that the Lamar County School System may want to claim my second born as well.

Can I drink beer at 8 AM? Is that allowed?

This one is just for my mom

Susan is the only one brave enough to call me out for being so slack (has it really been a MONTH?!) and to that I say Kudos. Somebody needs to give me a kick in the pants, that's for sure!

To get back in gear, I offer this from tonight:

I stepped into the living room to find David and Ella tied up in knots tickling each other. Each is as ticklish as the other, so it would be a fair fight... if one wasn't 31 and the other 5. Even with the odds stacked against her, Ella continues to struggle, yell, laugh, struggle some more, laugh and land a tiny, glancing tickle here and there. Meanwhile, David knows he should show her mercy, but it's really not in his nature to do so. So he doesn't. And Ella cries out 'I'm going to pee my pants!' at random intervals, and I'm not convinced that it's just for effect.

Thinking that I might need to even out the odds a bit, I tell Ella that if she were a smart girl, she would ask for some tips or tricks from someone who might know a thing or two about tickling Daddy. (David, under his breath: 'Even though Daddy asks her not to and she does it anyway...')

'Who's that?' she asks.

'Who do you think?' David replies.

Ella searches her brain for the most logical answer, given the fact that she's having a tickle fight with her daddy, and guesses 'Grandma? Grandpa?'

'No...' David says, '...who is the meanest person in this house?'

And Ella, filled with the conviction of a 5 year old who knows the answer, says in a most loud and most clear voice: 'MAMA!'

And don't y'all forget it.

Playing in the creek

I promised more playing in the creek pictures, and I'm going to deliver!  Boy howdy, am I going to deliver.  To the point of driving you nuts, I think, but you would probably all agree that since I have been slack in reporting things as of late, it's okay.  For now.

Since Marisa and I are good little girls, we went and spent a nice little afternoon with our dad on Sunday.  One of Daddy's favorite things is to get in the creek that runs through the back of his property when the weather turns hot.  Marisa and I used to play in the creek all the time when we were little, so it was quite a treat for Daddy to have his grandbabies out in it!

Ashley Kate didn't bat an eye at the cool, rushing water or all of the moss growing underneath her feet and bottom.  No, she immediately commenced splashing around like she does in the bath.

Um, Katers, what's with the Chicken Dance pose?

"Did you just call me a chicken?"

Ella and Papa striking the same pose I have seen in pictures from the past...

All it took was the promise of a milkshake and Ella agrees to lay down in the running water.

(Don't mind Daddy's painted on shorts.  Or his sock line.  That's how the McGraw's do it, you see.)

Aw, sweet sisters

Aw, sweet cousins!

Speaking of sweet cousins, they don't get much sweeter or cuter than Anderson!

I mean, just LOOK AT THIS FACE!  I'm dying over here!

I have more pictures, but won't subject you to them just yet (because it's another photo series! gasp!).  All in due time, all in due time. :)

Ella's Father's Day gift to David

For Father's Day, Ella gave David a deep feeling, way down in his gut, that he's going to have BIG TROUBLE with the boys. All it took was this picture from our trip to my dad's (to play in the creek - more pics to come) to seal the deal.

Nothing says Happy Father's Day like an ulcer, don't you think?!

The Water Gun Fight or The Longest Photo Series Ever

Since we are fortunate enough to have plenty of room and plenty of shade in our back yard, we made good on a promise to Ella that she could FINALLY have a pool. As much as Ashley loves splashing water in her baths and during water play at school (they had to cut water play short one day purely because of the mess that my baby was making!), we knew she would be a big fan of a pool too.

Yesterday, I picked Ella up from preschool early, telling her that she was going to go help me with something - but I didn't say what. We went to Chick-Fil-A and got her a milkshake because, after all, this was special 'Mama and Ella' time and nothing says special to Ella like a milkshake. (Side note: CFA's milkshakes are so stinkin' good that you feel positively naughty when you drink one. I highly recommend it.) Then we eased on over to WalMart and once in the parking lot I told her what she was helping me find... I don't think I have ever seen Ella Grace as excited as she was when I uttered the word pool. And I mean ever - not even Christmas morning beat this particular level of excitement!

We found what I had picked out online (and for only $35!) and made our way back home so that she and Ashley could get in it STAT. Only 30 minutes with the hand air pump later and we were filling our 10 ft. long pool with ice cold well water! The girls didn't mind one bit that the water felt practically arctic and played in it for quite a while. Finally Ashley tossed in the towel and started requesting 'Out! Out!' but not before Ella and David engaged in a little water gun fight:

David filled Ella's with ammo first so all things are not equal here

And so you can imagine what Ella decides to do

Which is awfully brave of her (Ashley makes like a tree here, which is very smart)

The battle begins and Ashley is still quickly scooting off

Ammo is flying (notice that Ella has taken a step back here)

And another step

Ella's giving lots of ground

She's been hit!

RETREAT! RETREAT! David smells blood

Sneak attack! Ella tries the behind the back maneuver

But David is too quick!

This is what you call running for it because your opponent is brutal

Brutal, I say!

How does he still have water for this kind of extended attack?!

Surrender!

Ella knows of her daddy's love for revenge so don't go feeling sorry for her. Maybe she also knows of her daddy's love of complete domination when it comes to things like this so that's why she got in the cheap shots while she could? Probably so, probably so.

(You should notice that I won't be getting into any water gun fights with David until we are properly armed with Super Soakers. None of these piddling guns for us... No, if we're going to fight, we're going to FIGHT!)

The adventures of Pink Goggle Girl

Say what you want about her choice of eye wear in the tub, but Pink Goggle Girl is always having a good time!

Just for the Doerters

I think I get my appreciation for great puns from my mom and Grandaddy (bless their souls!). Since they are faithful readers of my blog, I feel like I just have to post these puns that I happened across. Enjoy, you punny people!

Creative Puns for Smart Minds

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, “Keep off the Grass.”

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21 A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

Did somebody say HAT?

Yes, yes I did, much to the delight of David when he had Ashley in his arms. The girl loves hats, and it is generally an exercise in futility for David to wear one when she is around, especially when he's holding her. Except for those rare times that she is so engrossed in what Ella is doing (probably standing on Lilly's head, or some other extremely important and illegal activity) that she doesn't even give it a thought. Until Mean Ol' Mama picks up her camera and says 'Hey Ashley! Look at Daddy's HAT!'

Sometimes I just can't help myself!

Cramping my style

Ashley Kate's clumsiness as of late is really cramping my style. Mainly my style of kissing her about the head and face repeatedly. She hasn't quite gotten into the habit of looking where she is going, which naturally leads to multiple spills.


Last Friday morning she fell right at the hearth and hit her cheek bone on the rocks. It bruised up instantly and made me wonder if preschool was going to turn us in to children's services. Then last night she took another tumble, face down onto the heating vent on the floor. That one bruised up instantly too, with two lines on her forehead. Poor Baby Kate.

Speaking of foreheads, take a look at the size of this head! (Granted, the angle is funky and her hair doesn't help, but STILL!)


As I was busy snap, snap, snapping pictures of Ashley in the bath, she slipped up again.


Thankfully, this time she didn't hit anything or otherwise hurt herself. How would I have coped with being unable to kiss even more of her?!

Mercifully, she still has this belly and these pudgy legs which are still available. My goodness, babies are fun!

From the yard, again

Yesterday was one of the nicest days that we have had in a long while due to the constant deluge of rain that our area received. Fortunately, David was off during the evening and we got the chance to hang out outside, all four of us.

You know me, I went out armed with my camera so that I can bother you with more (no, not more!) pictures from the yard. There is good news... and there is bad news.

Bad news: the peach tree doesn't have a single fruit on it anymore and the pear trees are looking like they might head that way as well. Dangit!

Good news! The big ol' pecan trees - like these big ol' pecan trees-


- are starting to make baby pecans! I know one day I will be cussing all of the nuts being on the ground, but for now I'm getting excited thinking about all of the delish recipes that include pecans!
I recently discovered that the two bushes that flank our front walk are gardenias! I know you're jealous, but don't you worry one little bit- I'm out there sniffing my, your and the population of Alabama's share of the loveliness every single time I walk in and out of the house.



And one final thing to note: My Explorer is now officially 'dressed.'


It's phonetic, and I LIKE IT!