Jan. 2nd

By the time I sit down at my desk on January 2nd to officially come back to work the following things might have happened:

*the mouse who has taken up residence in my house will have nosed his way into the trap we set

*I will have partied like a rock star at New Year's Eve

*permanent daycare for Ashley will have been found

*all of the quickly growing grey hair will have been plucked from my head

*cell phone contract will be renewed and we will sport new phones

*two things that I have been meaning to do will finally get done

*emotional breakdowns at the thought/act of leaving Ashley at daycare will have occurred

*the avalanche of telemarketing phone calls received on our new home number will have slowed (seriously, I got 3 of them the first day it was connected)

*a good recipe for peanut butter fudge will have been found

*my house will be clean

*collard greens, black eyed peas, pork and corn bread will have been consumed on New Year's Day - gotta start the new year off right!

*my savings account will be drained

*I will be back in full blogger mode, ready to pummel you with all sorts of posts and pics

See you then!

Payback

When Andria had her little girl Dellaina almost two years to the day that I had Ella, I knew I would be able to shower her with all kinds of clothes. Since then she and I have been keeping the USPS and UPS in business by shipping boxes of clothes back and forth. Now that Ashley is here, Andria is returning the favor and sent me some of Dellaina's clothes. Boy are they cute! I haven't even skimmed the surface of the enormous box she sent but I did happen upon this adorable outfit and made sure to put Miss Ashley in it pronto.

Thanks, Andria! Ashley now has two wardrobes to be outfitted from! (Unfortunately neither one is her own, but such is the plight of the second born...)

Thunder what?

Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. Sweet baby Ashley.

You have got some serious thighs going on. I knew when we weighed you at the doctors office and you had gained two pounds in two weeks that there would be evidence. Is there ever! But I love love all of your big chunky monkey pudge. You are so fun to squeeze and hug and those big cheeks are great for kissing. So what if you weigh now what Ella weighed at 3 months?

(This photo is totally G rated.)

Big 4

Yesterday was Ella's 4th birthday! Happy Birthday to her and her big 4 year old self!

Preschool was closed yesterday (due to the power outages everywhere) so she got to celebrate at home with us. David took her to feed with him and then she watched her new movie, Ratatouille, that Marisa gave her. After gymnastics we went out to eat with Aunt Jamie and Angie, Scott and Mallory and I got to have my first margarita since Ashley's arrival. Yippee!

Ella in the new snow suit that Grandma and Grandpa gave her and new snow boots that we gave her.

Ice, Ice Baby, part 2

So the ice came. And came.

The trees all looked so beautiful encased in the ice but that beauty comes with a price, unfortunately. The limbs got so heavy that they just snapped right off, all over the power lines. We were one of the lucky ones and never lost power, thank goodness!

That is some thick stuff!

I thought this looked kind of cool.

Now the forcast is calling for 3-6" of snow on top of the ice. Yikes! Is there a song called Snow, Snow Baby?

Ice Ice Baby

Last week we got a minimal amount of snow (1-1.5"). Usually this would cause all sorts of discombobulation for us Southerners... but, David and I overcame our Georgian ways long ago and don't hardly blink an eye at such a small amount. No rushing off to the grocery store for bread and milk for us!

The snow is still on the ground since it has remained pretty cold for the past few days. Guess what the good ol' weatherman is saying that we are going to get on top of our 1-1.5" of snow tonight? ICE. The same amount of ICE. An inch to an inch and a half. Oh. No.

If you will excuse me, I'm heading off to the grocery store. (I may be a Southerner hardened to Kansas winters but I'm no fool!)

Getting to Know You

Another altered email, but hey, it's all I got!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper

2. Tree--Real or Artificial? Fo' real, fo' sho!

3. When do you put Christmas tree up? Generally two weeks before Christmas, to enjoy it as long as pissible but not so long that the needles get everywhere

4. When do you take the tree down? Before New Year's Day (or else it's bad luck!)

5. Like egg nog? Yes, especially if it's spiked

6. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes - Reason for the season

7. Favorite gift received as a child? I don't know... I was pretty pumped about getting Keds once

8. Hardest person to buy for? Jamie

9. Easiest person to buy for? David

10. Worst Christmas gift? ?

11. Mail or email a Christmas Card? Mail

12. Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas Vacation - So. Effing. Funny.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Beginning of December, unfortunately

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No

15. Favorite food to eat on Christmas? Mimosas and quiche, a la Mom

16. Clear or colored tree lights? Colored, although clear are very nice

17. Favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night

18. Travel during Christmas or Stay home? We seem to alternate

19. Can you name Santa's reindeer's? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donner, Comet, Blitzen, Cupid, Rudolph

20. Angel or Star on Tree top? Angel

21. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? crowded stores

23. What are you most looking forward to at Christmas? Ella's wide eyed belief and watching her open gifts

24. What are you hoping to get for Christmas this year? She's already here

25. How did you find out about Santa Clause not being real? I asked Mom if he was real and she said no (after a kid at school told me he wasn't)

Little One

Who says that second children don't get as many pictures taken of them as the first one did? Obviously not me!

Name Game

Susan sent this to me and I got a pretty good kick out of it. Her names were pretty funny, mine are kind of blah. (I was a little free with some of mine. It doesn't help that my last name starts with three consenants!)

If you come up with something good for one of your names, leave it in the comments!


10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name) Anna Thomas

9. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, fathers dad) Carl Charles

8. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, 2 letters of your first) Mccme

7. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, fav animal) Red Dog

6. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Elizabeth Athens

5. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginng) The Pink Beer

4. FLY GIRL/GUY NAME: (1st letter of 1st name, 1st 3 letters of your last name) Mmcc (how about M.C.?)

3. GANGSTA NAME: ( fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie) Vanilla Peanut Butter

2. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name) Lily College

1. STRIPPER NAME: (first pets name, street name you grew up on) Gypsy Mars Hill

Photo Blog

Somebody give hand me some lipstick - STAT!

Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.

She smelled as good as she looks!

Three Martinis, please

Remember my post about a playdate for Ella? The picture that I used was from the cover of a book called The Three Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting. I had never heard of this book before but the image came up when I was searching for something pertaining to a playdate and it made me laugh so steal it I did.

Little did I know that Niki would be so observant and actually order the book for her favorite new mommies, Andrea and I! I got it in the mail last week and have had some good laughs reading it. I think when I'm done I will pass it on for Karen (queen of the playdate) to read :)

A little exerpt that made me laugh:

"One wasn't required to transport the little children hither and thither, here to T-ball practice, there to a 'playdate', may the chipper mommy who coined that particular term forever rot in a hell of eternally colicky babies."

Pure genius, right?

So Far...

Sleep? - Yes, please

Breastfeeding - One of nature's most natural things does not come naturally

Pregnancy weight - gone (ta da!)

Pre-pregnancy jeans - hell yeah, I'm wearing them

(If it sounds like I'm bragging on those last two, I am ;P )

# of days w/o a shower - Z.E.R.O. Nevah!

Kick ass afternoon of TV - TBS. Yes, Dear, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, King of Queens, Seinfeld, Friends and Just Shoot Me. I'm in love.

Treat du jour - Rick Krispie Treats

Swelling - All gone. My feet and calves are back to their recognizable form

Withdrawal from the Internet - Much worse than I imagined it would be

Need for some semblance of a routine - great/huge/enormous

Times I almost cried over spilled milk - One. One too many.

Times cried for no good reason - Who knows? But that Thanksgiving card really touched me, OK?

Goodbye to nearly clear complexion - Hello to not so much

Last reminders that I recently had surgery - laughing, coughing and sneezing

Ashley looks like - Her sister, and how!

A few words for my genetics - You're getting docked a day's pay for sleeping on the job (name that movie, anyone?)

Fingers nicked in first attempt at trimming nails - 3. 3 on one hand. Thank goodness Ashley didn't cry or I would have too.

Who is ready for another one? - Get back to me on that.

Who is feeling her heart burst with a true understanding of the meaning of Thanksgiving? - Yes ma'am, I am.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Another Quickie

In an effort for this not to be the Ashley channel (all Ashley, all the time!) here are some pics of Ella. I still plan on writing up the big Ashley post, mind you, but no time for that now. Maybe by the time she is a month old? Two months?

OMG, I just thought of something. If the blog will no longer be the Ella channel, nor will it be just the Ashley channel, then it will be the Ashley and Ella channel or A&E! Gosh, I'm so witty it hurts!

Gazing out the window at the hospital.

Princess Ella and her Super Dog, Miss Mags

OK, just one of little baby Ashley, sleeping in the sun

Semi Post

I have made it back to blog land, but unfortunately it's very temporary. We don't have a computer at home so posting requires a bit of an effort!

The real quick rundown so far is that all is well. Ashley had to stay at the hospital a few extra days to bask in the glow of artificial light since she had a touch of jaundice. We were able to go home on Saturday and since then have been trying to settle in and adjust to the new way of life. I am doing really, really well. A lot better than I remember at this stage of the game last time, actually! Oh, and the feet? They have begun to subside! Real shoes for me again! I'm pumped.

The only pictures I have at my disposal this very minute are from the hospital still, but I'll post them anyway. I don't know how different they are from the other ones, but you can't say I didn't try!

Hopefully I will be able to post a 'real' post soon, as well as grab some photos where Ashley isn't all bundled up and you can actually see her! (One thing to look forward to is a shot of her toes! Remember Angie telling me that Ella has my toes? Yep, Ashley too! Too a greater extent, I'm afraid...)

This we pre 'get that awful hat off of my precious little girl!'.

Lots of lovin' from her big sister.

Angie, Mallory and the McClure girls.

Welcome

After much anticipation, I am very proud to announce the arrival of Miss Ashley Kate McClure!!

The stats: 11/6 at 7:42 am, 7lbs. 15 oz., 20 in.

Lots and lots of dark hair!

Ella is as proud and smitten as can be.

I will give you the full rundown later, I promise! (Right now we are still in the hospital and hope to leave Friday at lunch.)

Thank you for all of your wonderful thoughts as we embark on this great adventure again... We are truly, truly lucky!

Tick Tock

So tomorrow is the day...

Of course I have about a million things that I want to get done running through my head, making little mental lists for myself. Who knows if I will remember everything? Or if it even matters, really? Things like housework will get done eventually, whether it's before Ashley gets here or not, so I'm not too concerned.

What I have been giving even more thought to recently is the fact that our lives are about to change. Forever. I have tried to take a few moments to soak up the family dynamic that we have grown so accustomed to, realizing that it will never be the same.

To that end, I searched online for some quotes regarding change. I found two that I thought were especially appropriate:

Charles DuBois: "The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."

Heraclitus: "You cannot step twice into the same river, for other waters are continually flowing in."

Exactly.

(Eeee! The next time I log in I will have my baby in my arms! See you then!)

Ikea

Marisa sent me this and it is so funny! An Ikea commercial that makes you look twice... :)

Click Here!

Tidy up!

Halloween

Ella got her trick or treat on with Miss Mallory in Angie and Scott's neighborhood. It proved to be a very interesting night... maybe Halloween brings out the crazy in people? Or maybe it was the beer that David and Scott were drinking as they (and I) were escorting the girls from door to door?

Hmmm... whichever it was brought Scott wearing a fuzzy halo and a liquored up neighbor lady yelling across the street at a dark and seemingly empty house to 'shut. your dog. up!'. In all fairness, the dog in their backyard was barking nonstop, but what the hell?! (She ended up marching herself over to pound on the door, still yelling, but to no avail because surprise! they weren't home.)

The girls scored some serious loot, which both dads promptly coveted. Actually, Mal and E both traded their take of candy (minus a few select pieces) for the movie The Jungle Book because 'too much candy is not good for you'. See what smart parents we are! Now David and Scott can rot their teeth out.

Prima Ballerina

Maybe I was a little heavy handed with the make up? Oh, who cares!

Miss Mallory and Ella - BFF

The torn open box with 3 ice creams in it that one lady gave E to give to the parents.

That's very nice and all, but wtf?!

Catch Up

In my absence from the blog I have missed two very important events!

Happy 1 year anniversary to Marisa and Rusty on Oct. 21st! They celebrated in style by taking a quick trip to the Cayman Islands. They had a great time and enjoyed a few Cay Brews (island beer). Maybe too many Cay Brews?!

Remember a year ago?!

ALSO,

Congratulations to Andria, from Andria's Random Thoughts, and her family on the addition of baby Wyatt! He arrived last Wednesday to one very happy family and a proud big sister. Mama Andria was my wonderful pregnancy buddy this time around and I couldn't be happier for her and the fam!

Big sis Dellaina and baby Wyatt

10/31

Happy Halloween!

Last night we carved pumpkins (actually, David did the carving, Ella and I were the guts getter-outters). I already have a pumpkin in my lap so I was excused from carving duties!

E picked out the difficult pattern for her daddy to carve!

I was sweet and chose the easy one!

Advise Me

My dear, dear blog readers. Never did I expect the response that I got from my bitch fest post about my feet. Quite passionate about the subject, aren't y'all?! I have learned my lesson to keep my mouth shut and keyboard silent when it comes to pregnancy moans and groans! No matter what the comments were, I enjoyed reading them and seeing what everyone had to say. To that end, I thought I would try to elicit more comments from you.

So I'm going to ask for your advice. If you are a mother, hit me with your best motherly wisdom. I'm about to undertake a newborn and a (soon to be) four year old! Tell me something that I don't know and will help me enormously. If you are not a mother, lay down some real sage advice that may help me in life in general. I'm thinking along the lines of 'don't eat yellow snow'. Even if it doesn't help me in life, at least it will make me laugh!

Here's some of my own: 'Be particular' (which is good for things that range from what you are going to eat next to choosing a husband) and 'They make more of 'em every day' (in regards to breaking something, etc) - from The Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love.

Go.

M I A

Lest any of you worry, I am still here, very pregnant.

The blog has been quiet lately and I apologize. I don't know if it's because my brain has been so saturated with baby thoughts that I can't generate a coherent post? Or possibly it's because I am furiously trying to prepare my desk for someone to step in in my absence? Or, more likely, I am so damn focused on getting done with this biology experiement that I can hardly think of anything else.

Whatever the reason, I will try my best to keep up. I only have one week to go!

All Bran

Watch this commercial and pay close attention. I got such a laugh out of this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwX8MzOKOzI

All I can say is, you have got to be shitting me!

Photo Shoot

Angie made delivery of the profesh photos that she took Ella to and I am really pleased with them! Who knew Wally World could deliver the goods?!

When Angie and I were discussing the photos she made a comment about how I was crazy if I thought Ella looked anything like me. Umm, hello? Doesn't she know that I am volatile and don't want to hear that my genetics played no part in making my beautiful daughter?! Oh, she says, Ella definitely has my toes.

Well, faaaantastic.

Ashley Kate, take note, sweet baby. I'm expecting full genetic dominance! Your father will be insufferable if you take after him too. Toes don't count!

(Good grief I'm bitter!)

M.F.

Here it is. The not so good, the bad and the ugly of being 8 months pregnant. My meat feet.

Nobody ever said that gestation would be a cake walk and I certainly didn't plan for it to be (hope as I might). I have tried my hardest to be positive about the whole deal and sweetly reply to questions of how I'm doing with 'great!' all the while thinking something quite the opposite.

I don't want to be that girl who just bitches and moans about her pregnancy but then things like my swollen feet happen and I just cave into the temptation to complain, complain, complain. So here I am, attempting to use the blog as an outlet to shout my aches and pains at the world, and yet as I type I am nagged by the feeling that I should keep my gripes to a minimum.

'You knew what this was all about when decided to get pregnant' you may say, 'you're not the first person to ever have a baby' and 'the reward will make it all worth it'. True. Very true. And I know that. IknowIknowIknow.

So all I will say is I'M DONE. I'm done with my bulk and general largesse. I'm done with having to roll out of bed instead of sitting up. I'm done with my damn hips aching all the time. I'm done with maternity clothes that are gettting too small as I continue to grow. I'm done with having cankles and club feet. I'm done wondering what little baby Ashley will look like. I'm done wondering how in the world we are going to handle two kids.

Mother Nature, you are a wise yet cruel gal. You bring preggos to their knees, gladly willing to exchange the end of pregnancy with the fatigue of meeting the demands of a brand new baby. Like making a deal with the devil.

Where do I sign?

Prima Ballerina

Yesterday found me in Wal Mart spending a whole load of money (damn Wal Mart!). Of the many things that I bought were pieces of Ella's Halloween costume as a ballerina. I surprised her with them last night and she was immediately in luv. She even asked if she could put it on this morning! I've got plans for the big night of trick or treating that include putting her hair in a bun and maybe even some make up! (I get to play dress up! Yay!)

Getting her poses ready...

Although, I don't know what pose that is!

The mind of a child

David and Ella were sitting outside on our deck the other day just chatting and she came out with something only a kid would. I thought it was cute, of course!

Ella: 'Why did they build our deck?'

David: 'I built our deck, honey.'

Ella: 'Why did you build our deck?'

David: 'So that we could get into the house. Our door is high off the ground

and we needed something to help us get to it.'

Ella: 'Why don't we not have a deck and get some pogo sticks? We can bounce

high to the door.'

David: 'Well, honey, I don't think that would work very well...'

Ella: 'We could have a Daddy pogo stick and a Mama pogo stick and a little kids

pogo stick for me!'

David: 'We could... but I think our deck works pretty good.'

Ella: 'Ok.'

Punchy

David has been doing some leather work lately and Ella really wanted to help. (He makes belts, spur leathers, head stalls, etc. and then tools designs on them. Remember the spur leathers he made Ella for her birthday?!) Last night David got out a piece of scrap leather and let her go to town tooling on it. She had such a good time and was really into it! I was so amazed at her excellent coordination hitting the stamp that I couldn't resist a little video documentation. It's not all that exciting, but check out her mad skillz!

I think that we have the makings for some cheap child labor making belts! Although, with that accuracy, we could set her up with a hammer and some nails! If anyone needs hand crafted leather products or carpentry work, give us a call! :)

Start the Countdown!

Today marks the 4 week mark, y'all! I don't know if I have officially stated that I'm scheduled for my c-section on Nov. 6th? My money (and hopes) are on little Miss Ashley coming earlier than that, but we'll see!

Here is the latest picture I have subjected myself to. It's from last Thursday during our Tough Enough to Wear Pink BBQ. Since then I have gone and gotten my hair all darkened up for the fall (a little darker than I had planned, actually) so don't be surprised when you see me next!

Hmm... anyone remember my comments about Bert? Coming back to haunt me now!!

Glamour Shots

Angie took Ella to get her pictures taken yesterday (since her sorry slacker mother hasn't done it...) and I got a few photos before they left. Since I've been lax in posting photos of Ella lately I thought I would inundate you with three of them!

Little Miss Glamour Shots!

Scissors

I got this email and just laughed and laughed! Enjoy!


Of course they're scissors!!

Quote from the mom:

"This is my kindergarten's artistic rendering of a pair of scissors. I wonder what his teacher thought. I allowed myself just a small smirk when I saw it. I waited until he was out of the room before I started crying, from laughing so hard."

Well, of course they're scissors. If you know someone with small children or you are a teacher...you will love this! I can certainly imagine seeing this one
proudly displayed on the mother's fridge at home...

Lunch Hour

Live blog (sort of) of my quick trip home for lunch:

Arrive home.

Good grief those zinnias look bad. Damn caterpillars. What is your deal, Lilly? Come inside... oh, you must be out of water in the bucket outside because you are drinking copious amounts from the dish in here. Shit. Fill water bucket soon, Megan.

Go to bathroom.

When in the hell will this cold be over. I have blown my nose until it's going to fall off.

Knock on door. Lilly goes nuts.

Lilly! Chill out! I bet it's the mailman. Lilly! Back off!

Open door. Wave at mailman. Pick up mail.

A big box from... Laura! Ohh! I bet she is sending me something for Ashley! Yay! She's so on top of things!

Rip right into box.

What cute dresses! 18 months, sleeveless, perfect! Wait! Stop looking at the mail and get some lunch!

Put leftover slice of pizza and cheesestick into oven to reheat.

Damn, look at this sink full of dishes.

Unload and reload dishwasher.

Dishwasher isn't full enough to run... maybe I should start a load of laundry?

Go to bedroom. Make ugly face at the pile of clean clothes that need to be folded and put away.

Oh hell, did I already wash my shorts and sports bra for class tonight? Because if I didn't I can't wash them now. No time to dry them. Shit.

Dig through PILE of clothes.

Where in the hell are my shorts and sports bra? Wait! Aren't there clothes in the dryer? Please let them be in there.

Go to dryer.

A ha! Gotcha, shorts! No bra. It's not in the dirty clothes is it?

Go to dirty clothes basket. Take basket to washing machine. Fill washing machine. No bra.

Where in the eff is that thing?! At least it's not dirty. I'll find it after work. Oh crap! Both sets of wraps (for boxing) are dirty. Ugh. Oh well. They'll just get sweaty anyway.

Smell pizza.

Crap!

Run to oven.

Whew! Just in time. Eat fast, girl, you've piddled away your time!

Eat. Eat. Eat.

Pizza's probably not the best for the babe... Calcium! Protein! Carbs for energy! Mmmm... I bought ice cream yesterday at the grocery store. I wonder if I have time for a little taste?

Check watch.

No!

Grab apple instead.

Ok, I'm out. Wait! Start the washing machine!

Start washing machine.

Ok, I'm really out. Come on, Lilly. Oh shit, you need water. I'll get you some when I get home, ok girl? Great!

Walk speedily to car. Immediately begin wishing I had some ice cream.

Well, I do declare!

Mom sent me this website, not that I'm in the market for these products as she said, but because it's pretty damn funny. If you are slightly interested, I recommend checking out LeastLikely2Breed.net and reading the description of each product. They might make you blush, but I think when you are talking about such things you had better have a sense of humor about it all. Or else you will crack up. (Wow, was that a triple pun?!)

Yes, that says Mother Effer's Va-J-J Jelly

B.F.F.

Oh, Tylenol PM, I love you so much.

When a girl gets to be of a certain size in her midsection sleep can become elusive. Sleep can become even more elusive if said large bellied girl catches a cold where she can't breathe during futile attempts at sleep.

Cranky preggo + head cold = a side of preggo that is generally reserved for those who love her the most and are more apt to forgive her for ugly behavior, showing up at work.

Consult with nurse at doctors office, get list of approved medicines and hit up the drug section of the grocery store like a mad woman.

Enter Tylenol PM riding in on a white horse and delivering two nights of sleep that isn't perfect but damn close.

From the mouth of my doctor at today's appointment: "Tylenol PM is perfectly safe. You could take it every night if you wanted to." How did she know that was exactly what I was contemplating?!

Invisible Woman

I have gotten this email a few times and each time I do, I think about posting it. Finally, here it is!

If you are a mom, I'm sure this will speak volumes to you. If you are not a mom, it will at least make you think about how your own mother feels about you.

The Invisible Woman

It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?" "Nobody," he shrugged. "Nobody?" The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street, I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?"

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking. That's when I started to put all the pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me. I'm invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Obviously not! No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought this for you."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder...as one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Far Sides